I don’t like to simply copy other people’s words for this blog without at least giving an opinion or a personal twist on them. However, in this instance the author has so perfectly captured my feelings on the matter that to edit his words would be to diminish them. So I shall make do with crediting him (Alex Collier. Nice bloke) and bowing to his superior ability to make pithy, cutting remarks, then copy pasting his words here:
"The new Dreamworks film has got me Turbo charged...
Whilst idly clicking my way through IMDb last night I noticed that a new film from Dreamworks is due out in the not too distant future. 'Turbo', charts the story of a snail who is the fastest snail in the world. I'm not sure what else happens in the film. I would have read on through the description, but unfortunately I had thrown my computer at a wall. Yet again we are to be faced with another dire sounding 'animal-characteristic-turned-on-it's-head' movie.
This is from the studio that brought us a movie about a bee that doesn't want to make honey. A rat what is all posh. A vegetarian shark. And a whole sodding zoo in New York that is filled with creatures that have hilariously juxtaposed character attributes; a lion that is a pussy, a hippo with a weight problem, a zebra who, despite not knowing if he is black and white or white and black, is in fact as black as Chris Rock, and a giraffe with a badly designed neck.
If all that doesn't sound bad enough, at least two of the characters listed above are ripped off from Pixar. (Well, obviously, I'm sure things are more innocent than that. They're probably just 'borrowed').
Animation is such an exciting medium to work in. But I'd rather be at a conference for monotone duster salesmen than sit through a Dreamworks ideas pitching session. Grey dusters, as well, none of your eye catching yellow cloths at this conference.
"Hey guys. Welcome to the Dreamworks pitching session. We're lookin' for only the most dynamic, whacked out zany ideas that the kids are just gonna go nuts for. Show me what you got!"
"Erm... well, actually... I kind of, erm... left my ideas on the bus..."
"Left them on the bus?"
"Yeah. And the dog ate them"
"I hope your ideas were more original than your excuses"
"They were! They were about, a... erm... a ...snail?"
"A snail? That doesn't sound very dynamic. Snails are slow, aren't they?"
"This one is fast! It's the fastest snail in the world!"
"Brilliant! Here's half a million dollars! Get that sucker in pre production"
"Don't you want to know the story?"
"That's not important! Hold on a minute though... snails.... aren't cute! How will we shift merchandise? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to cancel this project."
"We can sell pots of slime or something, I guess?"
"Brilliant! Here's two hundred million dollars and a bank holiday weekend release date!"
Actually, if it's that easy then here's my list of film ideas for the next Dreamworks thinktank day.
Cheetah: A film about a cheetah who is the slowest cheetah in the world. His mum and dad are disappointed, so he, get this, get this, cheats to win a race. Then he's a hero, but has to admit his dishonesty, and all the other cheetahs learn that life is best lived slowed down, and that's what counts.
Ellie Funt: The adventures of Ellie Funt, the worlds most forgetful Elephant. Absent minded Ellie is bullied by the other Elephants and runs away from home. Unfortunately Ellie is so forgetful that she forgets where she lives, and moves in with a family of mice, because she forgets that elephants are scared of mice. The mice accept her as one of their own and when the Elephant herd accidentally stumble upon her they realise that it doesn't matter how small you are, it's how big your heart is that counts.
Baboon! Sadly, Bab the Baboon has been born with a normal arse. Without a ridiculous bright red hanging down arse Bab is unlikely to attract a mate, and is destined to be alone forever. However, the forest is under attack by man. The only way to stop them is to sabotage their machinery in the dead of night. Unfortunately though, Man can see the baboons coming a mile off what with their glowing arses and all. It's up to Bab to save the day with his normal arse. In the end the Baboons learn the valuable life lesson that it's not how red and hangy-downy your arse is, it's being able to sneak up on machinery and sabotage it in the middle of the night that counts.
From Me to Flu: Flo, the influenza virus, is cast out from the Orthomyxoviridae family when she decides she doesn't want to make people sick anymore. Instead, caring Flo wants to help people, and tries to develop a cure for the common cold. She goes to live in a petrie dish in the lab of Louis Pastuer. Unfortunately, before her work is complete her big brother H5N1 mutates into a human form of bird flu and threatens to wipe out the human race! Flo must return to her family and try to stop a pandemic before it's too late. Her big brother realises he must choose between his family and global domination, and chooses family, realising that the bonds of family are stronger than the bonds of a small infectious agent inside the living cells of an organism, and that's what counts.
Monkey See, Monkey Doo: A big room with an infinite amount of monkeys typing at computers are tasked to come up with the next Dreamworks script idea. They all manage it on their first go. Monkey Doo however has ideas above his station and wants to write the next Shakespeare sonnet. He disowns his friends and becomes a successful theatre scribe. However, he soon returns to his roots when he realises it is lonely at the top. His friends welcome him back, as they are primates for life. And that's what counts.
Remember, if these ideas sound terrible, the potential for merchandising is huge. And really, at the end of the day, that's what counts."
By Alex Collier
I’ve been NLPed!
31 Mar 2011
I’ve just completed a one week NLP Practitioner course which, according to the official blurb, means I now have “a FREEDOM from ANY limited, internal model of the world, which in turn, gives me the KEY to UNLOCKING your true potential…”
So that’s nice…
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not really into ‘personal development,’ ‘spiritual empowerment,’ or any such self help book spouted crap. But I am interested in the power of the brain, and I am interested in being a better communicator, so when I found a teacher who I felt could deliver the more scientifically accurate bits without the fluff that denigrates so much of NLP I decided to go for it.
And it was… interesting.
Some bits I found overwhelmingly mediocre, but some bits so dangerously powerful that I wondered why doctors around the world weren’t raving about it. I saw a woman genuinely cured of a fear of public speaking so intense that she was shaking and practically weeping at the very thought of having to stand in front of a group of 18 people. But I also was expected to report profound emotional change when I stood in the centre of a circle of people spouting such platitudes as; ‘the meaning of communication is the response you get’ and ‘everyone does the best they can with the resources they have.’
I was also made to watch ‘The Secret’ which is never a good way to win my approval. (It’s called EDITING people!)
I find a lot of NLP, therapy and hypnosis is more about peer pressure and a desire not to make the trainer look foolish than it is about genuine change. This opinion lessened during the week, but I could not make it disappear entirely.
Because this review isn’t completely positive, I haven’t mentioned the name of the trainer or the company. This isn’t in any way to avoid endorsing either, because actually I think that any ‘not entirely convinced-ness’ was entirely due to my overly analytical mind and inherent scepticism of NLP rather than the course itself, which was excellent and well delivered… poor guy must dread people like me walking through the door!
Me being hypnotised (sort of):
So that’s nice…
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not really into ‘personal development,’ ‘spiritual empowerment,’ or any such self help book spouted crap. But I am interested in the power of the brain, and I am interested in being a better communicator, so when I found a teacher who I felt could deliver the more scientifically accurate bits without the fluff that denigrates so much of NLP I decided to go for it.
And it was… interesting.
Some bits I found overwhelmingly mediocre, but some bits so dangerously powerful that I wondered why doctors around the world weren’t raving about it. I saw a woman genuinely cured of a fear of public speaking so intense that she was shaking and practically weeping at the very thought of having to stand in front of a group of 18 people. But I also was expected to report profound emotional change when I stood in the centre of a circle of people spouting such platitudes as; ‘the meaning of communication is the response you get’ and ‘everyone does the best they can with the resources they have.’
I was also made to watch ‘The Secret’ which is never a good way to win my approval. (It’s called EDITING people!)
I find a lot of NLP, therapy and hypnosis is more about peer pressure and a desire not to make the trainer look foolish than it is about genuine change. This opinion lessened during the week, but I could not make it disappear entirely.
Because this review isn’t completely positive, I haven’t mentioned the name of the trainer or the company. This isn’t in any way to avoid endorsing either, because actually I think that any ‘not entirely convinced-ness’ was entirely due to my overly analytical mind and inherent scepticism of NLP rather than the course itself, which was excellent and well delivered… poor guy must dread people like me walking through the door!
Me being hypnotised (sort of):
Herts Business Expo
10 Mar 2011
Just got back from the Herts Expo and I am completely knackered! It was a great day, exceeding all expectations in terms of attendance, business passed, speakers and enjoyment.
I had volunteered to help raise money for Comic Relief by selling packs of materials (paper, plastic cups, straws, string etc) for the frankly extortionate price of £20, that people used to create cars to race on our specially made racetrack. Little did I realise that this would result in me being dressed from head to foot in what can only be described as a condom costume (but was apparently supposed to make me look like a car mechanic) and harassing people as they tried desperately to avoid eye contact.
I shall look more mercifully on ‘chuggers’ from now on!
We raised about £400 for Comic Relief in the end, which, while really quite impressive, would certainly have been larger had the Expo been less darned good. With so many companies and so much business being passed in the room, we could hardly expect people to spend their day manufacturing small paper cars to race on our track. Frankly inconsiderate planning I call it.
But well done to Katrina Sargant and Karen Birch of the Business Club for organising a Business Expo against which all future events will be measured.
Tangled - Disney's back!
9 Feb 2011
In all honesty I've been completely dreading Tangled.When it started production 8 years ago it was called Rapunzel and seemed like Disney were no longer ashamed of their fairy story roots. They had my favourite animator of all time (Glen Keane) in the director's chair and although it was CG, they really seemed to be trying to achieve something different with it.
Fast forward to a few days ago, and I was a nervous wreck of anticipation (ok, that's an exaggeration, but I did go through at least one finger nail). They'd changed the name to 'Tangled', demoted Glen Keane and pushed back the release date about a billion times. It seemed like they weren't sure about the appeal of the film, and that's never a good sign with Disney (Treasure Planet anyone?).
But it's actually a damned good film. It's funny, it's sad, it's beautiful, and it's memorable. It sits with the greats as a classic Disney film. And I don't mean that it's a film made by Disney, 'Tangled' is actually a Disney film.
And I can't give it higher praise than that.
Sure there were a couple of negatives; the music wasn't great, certainly wouldn't stand alone without the film like scores from Aladdin or Lion King; the ending could be considered slightly Beauty and the Beast; and the hair changes length from shot to shot with wild abandon...
But who cares?
Disney's back, and that's the best news I've had in a long time.Tangled review
Website review: Caloo Fitness
8 Jan 2011
Another website finished, another happy customer :)
Caloo Fitness are a Hertfordshire based Company who provide outdoor fitness and gym equipment. They approached us to design, build optimise their new site, which was to be bright, memorable and to reflect their product and company ethos.
The first thing we did in this instance was to pick a strong colour scheme that we felt really represented the company and product. Once we had that, a lot of the rest of the design fell in to place quite quickly. This was followed by the wireframe and final design. We always offer unlimited tweaks on all our designs, because we have no intention of ever letting a Client end up with a site that they're not delighted with, but in this instance there weren't any!
The concept for the design was 'serious about playing,' and we captured that through the unusual and fun layout, tempered by an easy to use navigation system and intuitive structure.
This site is to be the central hub of the campaign we're working on with Caloo, consisting of social media (blog, twitter, youtube), newsletters, and SEO. It's been very gratifying seeing the wonderful results that the new website has already created, and it's wonderful to work with a company who are so ready to listen to the advice of their web designers and take time to make social networking work really well for them
Caloo Fitness are a Hertfordshire based Company who provide outdoor fitness and gym equipment. They approached us to design, build optimise their new site, which was to be bright, memorable and to reflect their product and company ethos.
The first thing we did in this instance was to pick a strong colour scheme that we felt really represented the company and product. Once we had that, a lot of the rest of the design fell in to place quite quickly. This was followed by the wireframe and final design. We always offer unlimited tweaks on all our designs, because we have no intention of ever letting a Client end up with a site that they're not delighted with, but in this instance there weren't any!
The concept for the design was 'serious about playing,' and we captured that through the unusual and fun layout, tempered by an easy to use navigation system and intuitive structure.
This site is to be the central hub of the campaign we're working on with Caloo, consisting of social media (blog, twitter, youtube), newsletters, and SEO. It's been very gratifying seeing the wonderful results that the new website has already created, and it's wonderful to work with a company who are so ready to listen to the advice of their web designers and take time to make social networking work really well for them
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